Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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