I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
