It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
