I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
