Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
