Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
