So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
