This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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