I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Never underestimate the power of titties
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
