someone get that fucking seahorse.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
