My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize
