508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
