the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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