I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
