If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
