dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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