I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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