I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
