If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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