And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
