She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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