apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
