tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
