Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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