belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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