Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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