I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
