Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
