Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
not ubering you a puppy
I see more hoeing in ur future
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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