My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize