Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
