The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
