We won't sleep together?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
