Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize
