This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
