To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
