he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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