Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
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