nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
