He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
