would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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