thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
