toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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