well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
This is the high leading the old right now
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize
