how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Randomize
