Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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