we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
