Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
