What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
