Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
