you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
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