I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
