I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize