Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
