She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
