so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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