$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
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