There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
