I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
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Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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