i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
