so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
